20th Dec

Writing this in the dressing room, feeling very sorry for myself, I’ve got some lurgy and sound even more like a croaking toad than ever, I’ve also got a temperature which is making for some v clumsy wand action.

This is hard work, all I do is the panto, I can’t even get a bit pissed on a Saturday night because we do two shows on a Sunday – moaning aside, the kids in the audience really love the show and although I’m not really cut out to be big with the under tens it’s nice to see hundreds of kids completely wrapped up in the story.

Reviews so far are pretty good too, with 4*s from both The Telegraph and Time Out.

I think the fact I haven’t had a day off in a while has played a part in feeling so rubbish, when I’m panto free I do Loose Women, which I have to say, by comparison is like a holiday and I’m looking forward to next years dates hugely, I’m also trying to get Xmas wrapped up – literally, most presents are bought and what I haven’t got it’s too late to worry about.

Me and the old man are plotting an escape in the New Year, Miami seems to be the current likely destination, but I’ve no idea when were going to get the time to actually book flights and hotels.

27th Dec

Well I was right, I was poorly and for the first time in a thirty year career, I had to take two days off with laryngitis, ghastly, but if you’ve got no voice, you’ve got no voice and there was no point giving it to everyone else, as it was, one of the girlie dancers was off too. Thing about missing shows is that you get all paranoid that everyone thinks you’re skiving. Which I wasn’t – so I came back asap to demonstrate how ill I’d been by looking and sounding like shit – which was easy.

Anyway, I got better and I had a marvellous Xmas day off with ace presents and no big family fall outs although my sister kept us waiting for dinner until I was nearly unconscious with hunger.

I didn’t rate Xmas telly much, I found Dr who really odd and terribly phallic, whilst Downton opted for a happy and slightly soppy ending which I thought was a cop out – still enjoyed it, though not as much as the series 2 DVD of Modern Family which the Eclairs are currently ploughing our way through.

Food wise, this Xmas has been all about the ham which Phoebe glazed on Xmas eve and sits in the fridge calling to me, hmmmmm yummy ham.
Right, it’s nearly five and I’m between shows and I need to forage for food, I wish I’d bought some of that ham with me, I would just eat it with my hands, right too hungry to type, laters.

28th Dec

Apparently in panto land there is a ball traditionally held every year for all panto performers across London and the regions, it’s being held tonight at Croydon’s luscious Fairfield Halls, it’s a chance for all the casts from all the different productions to dress up and mingle, let’s just say it promises to end in rivers of sick. Guess who couldn’t think of anything worse? ME! that’s right, I shan’t be going, for several reasons, I don’t need to feel tireder tomorrow than I do today, I daren’t drink and panto and the idea of trying to get home from Croydon at three in the morning fills me with horror, anyway I bet there won’t be any food and I’ve still got the ham waiting for me in my cosy house, oh ham, tonight belongs to me and you.

31st Dec

Well good gossip post Panto Ball, unfortunately not mine to tell, but well done to a particular dancer from our cast! Have to say the wings were strewn with bodies the day after, it seemed like everyone who wasn’t on stage was in need of a lie down.

Anyway in even more exciting news we are going to have a holiday, we are going to Miami and I am very excited indeed! All the sales are on in Richmond town but now that I have purchased a holiday, I am back in tight fisted mode, though sometimes when I’m bored between shows, I go and try a jumper on in Jigsaw across the road.

Thank goodness for my trusty iPad, which I have just learnt to hire films on, saw a v saucy one with Tilda Swinton having it off all over the place, the other day!

Am now watching Grand Hotel.
Anyway it’s time for Act 2

5th Jan

HAPPY New Year, sorry all this has been coming in dribs and drabs, I’ve never been so busy or so completely knackered, I keep promising to wake up early and do things, But I can’t get out of bed!

When I first did a show at the Edinburgh festival, I thought it would kill me, then when I did a West End run, I thought the matinee days would finish me off, now I have done panto, I realize all the other stuff is for babies, panto is hard core.

Anyway, I have attached some photos of the past few weeks, I ‘ve had a great time really, although I’ve moaned my head off, at least we did get Xmas and New Year off and I have got some lovely presents and we watched the fireworks from our roof on New Year’s day and I know really that I’m a very lucky girl – so I’ll try not to whinge too much (but I probably will).

Here’s to 2012! x

We open tomorrow, but I’m not as freaked out as I would be if they hadn’t seen sense and cut the song. Yes, it’s official, there is no point even trying to teach me to sing, I can’t, end of, do you think if I could sing, I would have turned to comedy?

Stand up is for people who want to be pop stars but are born without any musical ability whatsoever, it’s like an affliction. Anyway, I am quite cosy here, I have a broken chaise long and my own lavatory which I think is important.

I have no other news because I am a Panto prisoner, I am hostage to this production until mid January, so it’s a good job that I actually really like the cast, because if I didn’t, I’d have to kill them.

Anyway, yes, we do have real ponies, they are two Shetlands called Buddy and Storm, they have already shat on the stage, so if they can, I can – should I need, it’s comforting to know that as long as we have the ponies, there is someone on stand by with a mop and shovel.

Fortunately Richmond is not bad for Xmas shopping and I’m getting all my online stuff sent direct to the theatre – which is handy as last year I spent most mornings in the PO queueing to fetch deliveries that I’d missed.

Talking of missing things…

I am missing Loose Women and quite a lot of parties, but I shall have my knees back under the LW desk in the new year and let’s face it, I’m crap at parties.

So anyway, I now need to rest before the dress rehearsal.

This Week, I have been
COMMUTING – like someone with a proper job, the best bit about commuting is listening in on other peoples conversations, I don’t even pretend I’m not eavesdropping, sometimes, I join in with the conversation, this causes consternation.
READING – Anna Richards – ‘Little Gods’ which I really like.
WATCHING – Million Pound Drop when I get home from rehearsals at around 10.45pm.
EATING – only stuff from shops and cages, I don’t even have breakfast at home, at the moment I’m a big fan of Prets bacon and egg morning baguette.

Any way, before I signed my life away I saw ‘My Week With Marilyn’ at the cinema (goodish – but then I’ve got a thing for Eddie Redmayne) and the fab Tacita Dean installation in the Tate Modern Turbine Hall – excellent work.

Tacita Dean’s film installation

Hello, I’ve been a lazy blogger over the last couple of weeks life has been getting in the way of sitting at my desk – I’m worried about Xmas, I’m worried about the panto killing me, I’m worried about having to sing a solo in public – so far, they, (the Cinderella team) still think this might happen, that I might be able to carry a song, they are wrong.

I shan’t say any more on the matter, apart from the fact that I am worried.

Anyway, I shall be down to just one Lose Women a week til mid January and I will miss it, I do get to meet some extraordinary people on that show and a fair few aren’t quite how you expect them to be, some are duller, some are sweeter, some are a bit big headed, you’ll just have to guess who is who – out of that lot, the one thing they all have in common are that most of them are smaller than you imagine, to be honest Katie Price’s bosoms aren’t all that big, I’ve seen much bigger ones down my local pool.

Anyway, we are rehearsing for the Richmond panto in Fullham, at The Dance Attic which used to be an old swimming pool – this space has been around for years, the toilets are disgusting but there’s an original Banksy on the canteen wall – OH NO THERE ISN’T, but there is an original Rolf Harris mural, which is both hideous and hilarious and must be preserved at all costs.

Fullham is a tad dull (says she who lives in the no man’s land of South London), though bumping into Holly Johnson in M and S really cheered me up, he was slightly disguised but I knew it was him, because we had a chat about stir fry and he tweeted about it! This totally made my day.

Anyway, I have bought a snood and I might have to buy another one because the girl keeps nicking mine, I got the black and cream one from Zara that I keep seeing other women wearing on the bus.

In terms of gigs, I’m done for a while, I had my last stand up gig of the year in Stourbridge, having spent the night before in the biggest hotel bedroom I’ve ever seen in York (bang slap next to the train station). In York I was doing an awards ceremony for carers, which was pretty humbling, it was held in the Transport museum, I obviously had to commit a nuisance and pretend to be an engine driver!

York was glorious, blue skies and yellow sun and I managed to dip my toe into the terrifying ocean of Xmas shopping – well actually I didn’t, I just bought myself a load of stuff.
Oh well, now, I’ve a pice of gammon I’d like to put in the oven, so if you’ll excuse me.

RECENTLY

I HAVE BOUGHT – Apart from the snood, some trousers (Jigsaw) and some black leather brogue boots from Office.
I HAVE SEEN – Stella Duffy’s Taniwha Thames at the newly managed and much improved Oval House, three cheers for everyone doing there thing at this much forgotten little gem of a theatre.
BEEN READING – The Little Gods by Anna Richards, which I am really loving, part fairy tale, part dark black comedy, am really glad I picked this up.
FINALLY – I am thinking of taking up needle point as I am going to be spending all of December stuck in a dressing room, with no time to do very much, but too much time not to do anything! Watch this space…

On second thoughts I’ve changed my mind.

OH YES – And I have new glasses, trouble is they are far too heavy to wear for every day! Am still ‘wearing them in’

Hello, yes I did have a bonfire display on my roof last night, I spent fifteen quid in the supermarket and we had a right jolly little show.

Been a busy couple of weeks, some gigs, some telly, some brouhaha that I’m not going to go into and quite a lot of visiting my father who is now lucky enough to be in a really kind and comfortable hospice in Bispham, the relief is enormous, not the hospice bit, if I could wave a magic wand my Dad would be on the golf course, he would be scoffing peanuts and drinking lager, but if he has to be old and poorly then I am glad he is being so well looked after, I am glad he is somewhere, where the staff do everything they can to make things easier, a huge thanks to them.

So apart from work and Dad time, on the social side of things I have had an old drama school mate and her husband to stay, I treated them to my hot pot and this time I remembered to put some salt and pepper in it – yum, there was none left, not even a scraping.

Old friends are great, I lived with Frances in Manchester in 1980, she is still very beautiful and time just evaporated, basically neither of us have changed all that much, it was easy.

The old man and I took them to Columbia Road market this morning, I got some flowers that are actually vegetables  (ornamental peppers) on stalks.

PEPPERS ON STALKS IN VASE

I also did a tiny bit of Xmas shopping- gah, it’s coming, we can’t stop it, even the fact I’m doing panto won’t let me off the Christmas hook, gird yourselves ladies, the madness is upon us.

Anyway down Columbia Road I saw this door, I think it’s my favourite door for the time being, do alert me to any rivals?

DOOR WITH FOX KNOCKER

THIS PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS

I HAVE – finished READING Caitlin Moran’s How to be a Woman, which is ace.

MISSED - seeing myself and Nick Hancock not win a load of money on Celebrity The Chase, ditto losing money for Children in Need on Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

PLAYED – a new panel game for Radio 4 called Wordaholics with Giles Brandreth, Richard Herring, Alex Horne and Natalie Haynes (v funny genius).

SEEN -  Top Girls at The Trafalgar studios and We Need To Talk About Kevin at The Brixton Ritzy.

MADE – some cards for an auction, here they are, I think the shops will be crying out for these.

Anyway, I am quite tired now…  So that’s your lot kids, laters…

Jenny is appearing as a guest on Ask Rhod Gilbert TONIGHT at 10:45pm on BBC One.