Fridge Handle

Hello, guess who is back? That’s right, me!

I’ve been to Miami on a proper holiday with my family and the girl’s old school chum, Ms Katy Trepass. It’s a good idea to take a non family member on your holiday, it makes everyone nicer, no-one wants to be seen to be a bitch in front of a non blood relative and so thanks to Ms Trepass, we Eclair-Powell’s had a magnificent time.

It was the panto that done it, I suddenly thought, as I heaved myself off my dressing room chaise long (true) for the umpteenth time to go and do some wand waving that it was pretty pointless working this hard if I wasn’t going to give myself a big fat treat at the end of it. Lo, the holiday idea was born, Miami popped into my head and I checked with Mr Dom Joly who is my unofficial travel agent whether it was a good Eclair clan destination, he said ‘definitely’ and told me where to stay. We couldn’t afford any of his hotel suggestions, so opted for the still very fabulous but just within budget, Soho Beach House – huzzah, it was ace.


Have you ever been to Miami? You must go, go now, no one should die without seeing Ocean Drive. Ocean Drive is wonderful, hundreds of ice cream coloured Art Deco hotels line the Ocean road, there is sand, there is sea, there is jaw dropping architecture, what’s not to like?


Miami beach is wonderful, stretches of fawn coloured soft sand with plenty of room for everyone and water warm enough not to shrivel your toes, I think it’s my favourite beach in the world and I’ve seen about…. ooh, five or six famous beaches


Sunshine wise, we weren’t particularly lucky – we didn’t have endless blue skies and yellow sun, but every day was a flip flops, t shirt and a cardi day, so compared to London’s cold snap, I was laughing my little fat fake tanned legs off.

The good thing about cloud is that it stops you from just slobbing out on the beach, we did exploring big style, I tell you I can be a very competitive sight see-er-give me a guide book and I do like to tick stuff off.

We did an open bus tour, Im a sucker for a jump on jump off, and on this one we jumped off in Little Havana for steak, fried plantain and a Cuban beer. We did the shops down Lincoln Drive – though lets face it London will always be tops for shopping – we did the Wynwood Graffiti Walls, a couple of art galleries, the fabulous Wolfsonian Museum and we ate.





We ate a lot of eggs, I did the egg white only omelette for breakfast slightly too many times and we made Katy eat green eggs and ham, which turned out to be basil sauce on poached eggs. My favourite new eating sensation was a goats cheese, bacon, apple, and arugula salad with crab claws on the side, yum, I’m also a fan of a salad with a pomegranate dressing which I have already tried to copy at home, sadly my kitchen is not as good as the hotels.


We also ate in the fashionable Scarpetta’s in The Fontainebleau Hotel next door – we did this by accident, jet lagged to the tits, not realizing that it was one of those impossible to get into places. Wish I could remember what I ate, but I know it was delicious and there was some very nice mosaic work round the bar.

Talking of bars, booze was phenomenally expensive, this turned out to be a blessing as I managed the entire holiday without even a whiff of a hangover, this is a relief as it means I can confidently say that I’m too mean to be a complete piss head. Anyway, I mustn’t get too boring about my holiday as I am home now and it over for ever and I’m not sure when I will be able to afford anything quite like that ever again (unless I get offered panto again) ???????

Since I’ve been back, I’ve managed to see the David Shrigley ‘Brain Activity’ exhibition at The Haywood, Shrigley manages to put comedy into art, something I don’t think any other artist in this country manages to do quite so triumphantly – go if you like animation, paintings, taxidermy, sculpture and big eccentric laughs.

Ooh yes, finally, just before I left for Miami (did I tell you I have been to Miami?), we Loose Women were invited as nominees to the NTA’s at the O2. We were up for best chat show, but inevitably lost out to Alan Carr – oh well it was quite a nice night out, if you like being stuck in the middle of nowhere! Also I made New Magazine’s ‘Worst Dressed’ list due to my penchant for snot green tights and refusing to take my coat or scarf off on the red carpet because it was cold. Meanwhile, the TOWIE girls bravely showed their tiny vajazzled goosebumps to the paps.


Right kids, that’s your lot for this week, I must get on – now that I have finished the novel, (due out this summer), which I hope you will buy in paper rather than kindle form, as writers lose a third of their money on kindle sales (and I’d like to go to Miami again).I need to get on with the ‘secret’ film script and the ‘possible’ play and the ‘fingers crossed’ new stand up show.


Comments are closed.